4:28 p.m. & 2004-09-17

I have nothing at all to do right now so I guess I should update.There was no school today because of Hurricane Ivan.Love ya Ivan.

Homecoming is next week.Dress?No.Date?No.Because I am so picky with both dresses and dates this is going to take a lot with me.I think I want a black dress or a red dress-sparkles,slits,and of course major cleavage.Yes,I want to look like a gorgeous tramp for homecoming.Probably why I get all the wrong guys.I still don't know what kind of updo I want-probably very feminine and dramatic.Also I'm getting my famous Mystic Tan because who wants to be pale in a dress?

Onto the guy part.I change crushes on guys like most girls change their thongs so what's the point?At the moment,I do have a little crush.His name is Nick and he's in my Lit class and he just grew on me.He's so cute and messy...and weird.He looks like Adam Brody and I even told the guy.No,he's not hot like I'd usually want,but God,his personality is perfect.Cute is the word.He does like me because he told my friend,''I love her.I want her.She's everything I want.''Words can do so much.Because I'm so insecure,I feel like what guys say about me makes me feel better about myself.It feels good for a little while,but at the end of the day,I don't feel any differently about myself.Being told your pretty or desired doesn't mean shit.It's like I yearn for compliments-it's like they keep me alive and keep me happy.I need to learn how to make myself happy.

Anyways,Tanner is growing like a weed and we housetrained him.(My new puppy)I'll post some pictures if I can get help from someone-I'm a computer retard.I'll post pictures after homecoming-I'm going with a group of friends.You can't go wrong with girlfriends anyway.I figure I'll have more fun with them than with a boring date.

I have nothing else to talk about.This diary is getting depressing.

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